i saw you. and it felt goooooooooooood.

i dont even know what to type and im staring blankly at the white screen.

too happy la siak.

da brape lame la aku da tak nampak muke kau kan.

wasnt too much of a coincidence.

tapi ade jugak la sikit sikit.

i was on my way to return camera lens to ayun friend when i receive a call from cousin saying that she migh saw you sia.

AND I TOOK A FRICKIN CAB, JUST TOO SEE YOU.

and kau imagine la aku pun mmg nak gi geylang seyyy. nampaknye telepathy kiter masi kuat kannnn??!

i was walking towards korg la with ayun and yaya, when i saw you like after oh-so long.

the best  part was i turned 180 degrees cos i wasnt prepared to walk past y'all.

masuk cheers terus beli wiontermelon dohhh. air kiter siaaaakkk!

and as usual aku excited so had to calm myself down.

then da calm2, tros kiter uat muke sardine and jalan.

ayun depan and yaya and aku jalan blkng.

jalan punye jalan skali ade org tap aku sak panggil "ANOI"

PUKIWAK JANTUNG AKU NAK TERCABUT LA SIA.

da tuhh tkpe, pusing blkng skali taufiq la siaaa!

potong steam je anak buah kau nie.

sempat aku tnye dier kau nmpk aku tak, skali dier ckp nmpk.

linKENING pun nmpk la sia. member ckp, "arh tu ex u"

tau je kau eh lin. HAIYA!

AND I WAS EXCITED FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

COS I SAW YOU FROM FAR.

AND YOU LOOK GOOD WITH YOUR BLACK HAIR.

YUMMY YUM!

"i think therefore i am single"

yes people, i am back on that track yeaaah?

and it feels good.

not that i feel bad when in a relationship.

but being single is just different la!

so mission number 1 is to find out who i really am.

its hard to know who yourself reaaly is.

i have been living as me for 20 years but sometimesits just weird when some stuff is like a confusion to myself.

but im glad that life has been pretty fair to me.

everything is going on well.

like seriously.

hanging out with everyone has been pretty lovely.

my family.

cousins.

classmates.

friends.

and soon im already entering the workforce.

wahsey! i reaaly cant beleieve im turning 20 this year.

it feels like i have just turned 15 yesterday or something.

i wanna be fifteen. where everthing was just about having fun.

no pressure for work and shits like that.

so today was karaoke session with yaya.

followed by sheesha with ayu and company.

funny people!

but the higlight was when i confessed to this matrep bun that i was a lesbian.

and ayu had to be the victim partner.

i sayang you la lesb partner!

chill aye girl?

okay la. i dont know what else to say!!

i will try updating more.

gonna find stuff to eat!

why things just wont work out.

1) i am just not ready. i really am sorry. i just thought i could just pull through everything. but sadly, im just a little too used to single life. you have not been controlling me but its just that doing stuff and you not knowing just makes me feel very weird and uncomfortable.

2) dude, im really happy being with you,. but you know what, im missing your brother. and thats bad. i hate him but i miss him. you get what i mean? i am not trying to forget him. i will not even try to forget him.

3) i dont wanna brush my guy friends away just because im attached now. they have been there for me. throughout everything.

4) you are working too hard for us. like as if we are getting married. and i dont like it cos its pressurising me. same goes to introducing you to my mum. aku stress tau kau ni! tapi kau tak pena nk tau biler aku hint kau!

5) i've turned lesbian. since months ago. so how?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

okay whatever!

im gonna rebond my hair soon. and thats the fucking sex la!

mum found stupid pijats on my bed. that explains the bummers on my hands and leg and body and face and wherever lor!

fuck it  la. 3 fucking unknown miss calls. like tau je siape!

off calling unknown number!

chalosssss!

bf is at the barber.

accompanying his dear friend .

mustaqiiiim is such a jerk la.

cheat my feelings today watch Dear John only.

now still dare to maki-maki me and all.

da tuhh tkpe, still blame me cause i never kejot him like crazy fuck so he wake up.

wtf sia mustaqiiiiiim!

i'll try not to miss you. =(

I've got a boyfriend now

He's my dearest pal

He'll always catch me when I fall

He's always there when I call

I've got a boyfriend now

He always talks so loud

Even in a crowded house

He always shows what he got

I share my dreams and all my stories

I don't think I need my diary

If you're teasing me, don't you worry

I will keep you in my memories

When my boyfriend smiles

The world seems all mine

And all the days seems truly fine

Make me reach up for the sky

Me and my boyfriend now

We're moving so slow

If you really want to know

Come on and join with the show

When I'm blue. feel so lonely

No one sits here right beside me

I'm gonna call you just to;

"Hurry, come and see me. It's so scary and I need you desperately"